Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Blame Game

Although no one wants to admit it, responsibility is a dirty word. Most people go to great lengths to avoid taking responsibility on a daily basis. Girls blame their boyfriends for making them fat; guys blame their girlfriends for making them boring. Parents blame their children for leaving them; children blame their parents for having them. Friends blame each other for blacked out Saturdays and bringing out alter egos we thought were long buried. Most people find it easier to pass blame than to take responsibility for their actions. Unless you're a glutton for punishment like I am.

I'm so quick to blame myself when things go awry at work, with my health, with a friend or in my relationship. I analyze where I went wrong, identify the lesson to be learned and then attempt to beat that lesson into my own consciousness with post-it notes, journals and tedious, redundant conversations. Oh, and blogging. Why do I do this? Because when you claim ownership of a problem, its yours to fix. You control the problem, you control the solution.

For years I told myself that taking responsibility when things went wrong was the real challenge in evolving into a wise, strong woman. But somewhere along the line I started taking responsibility for things that weren't my fault in the interest of maintaining control. I failed to see that the true challenge in becoming an "evolved" woman is accepting that there are simply things in life that you cannot control. And sometimes, that shit really isn't your fault.

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