Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Silly Foal

You spend so much time and energy getting your feet under you in your 20's. I imagine watching a young 20-something girl get up onto her feet with any measure of strength and stability must be similar to watching a developmentally challenged foal repeatedly trip over her own lanky, fuzzy, Lincoln Log legs as she attempts to rise onto her hooves for the first time. No matter how young, beautiful and determined a young female might be, she'll always know how to get in her own way unlike any other species.

I spent much of my 20's coming to terms with the fact that the decade wasn't at all about reading Harper's Bazaar by the pool or drinking martinis 8 days a week while maintaining the perfect figure and balancing a wildly successful career. I held on tight to that misconception for a few (wasted) years, and then I spent the rest of the decade meandering down a messy path towards finding myself. It was a path riddled with equal parts achievement and disappointment, loneliness and fear, peace and happiness.

At the end of it, I was glad to wave goodbye to my 20's and usher in a new decade. My 20's truly were a roller coaster, on which I often felt exposed, lost and confused. I was excited to enter a new phase of my life with all the knowledge gained from the climb I conquered in the decade before. I was convinced it would be at least a little bit smoother sailing from 30 on. And then the molehills and mountains started popping up everywhere again. I did have a "What the F&(K!" moment at first. But then I realized that the whole point of getting your feet under you in your 20's is so you can learn to pick yourself back up with a little more grace every subsequent time the rug gets pulled out from under you.