Sunday, December 12, 2010

It's a Miracle

Last night, I watched B walk over to the freezer, which contained 4 kinds of ice cream. He opened it up, took out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s that I knew wasn’t his true first choice, closed the freezer and walked away. I laughed and said, “Honey? Did you take that over the Peanut Brittle because that was what was open?”

He replied, “Of course.”

I laughed again and thought about how I’ve never chosen anything without at least a few moments of consideration. His ice cream selection was a perfect example of how insanely different the two sexes are. It never ceases to amaze me that we manage to co-exist, procreate, and stay in long term relationships when our bodies and brains operate in completely different ways. I started to think about all the ways in which men and women think and behave differently...

Men make meal choices based on proximity, ease of access and taste. Similarly, they often choose women that way. Women, on the other hand select food (and men) based on what we’re in the mood for, feels right, smells good, requires a little extra work and won’t make us feel too guilty after the fact.

Women tend to do things in anticipation of a desired result or perceived benefit. Men most often just “do.”

A man loves a woman for what she is. A woman loves a man for what he can be when he grows up.

Women overcomplicate emotional matters. Men overcomplicate logistics. (A map or stop and ask for directions? Insane! Use the manufacturer’s directions to assemble that doll house? Never!)

Crazy is exciting to a lot of women. Crazy is just crazy to men.\

Women fall in love almost as quickly and easily as men fall out of love.

You hand a woman another drink at Happy Hour and while thinking of everything she must do between that moment and tomorrow morning, she says, “Oh, no thanks. I really should go.”

You hand a man another drink at Happy Hour and while thinking how good that beer will taste, he says ‘Thanks!”

When sports or a favorite show is on TV, men hear nothing else around them. Women are almost always listening. Creepy, I know.

Horror films give some women nightmares. Movies like Revolutionary Road give most men nightmares.

Men see a “red flag” and run. Most women see a “red flag” and dig their claws in deeper while convincing themselves the issue will go away.

Women often wonder when their partner will start to open up more, start talking. Men wonder when we’ll stop talking so much.

Men memorize all the funny lines of their favorite movies and can watch them over and over and over again. And then a few more times. Women remember the clothes and the romance – and we’re usually all set after 2-3 viewings.

When we're young, its not uncommon for women to create entire relationships in our heads. Men create elaborate fantasies.

Men fall in love with what they see and touch and hear. Women fall in love with dreams and ideas.