"Comfort" Smoothie and Product Recommendations

I am without a doubt an emotional eater. Always have been. Given the fact that I have a vagina, there's a good chance I always will be. With increased awareness around my tendency to bury emotions I can't handle in a pint of ice cream I can't digest, I've spent some time seeking out healthier "comfort foods."

Once in a while I create something that seems to yield an equal amount of instant gratification/comfort/release to Peanut M&Ms or Suzie Cake's Celebration Cake. I perfected this smoothie recipe over a particularly stressful 2 weeks this past summer, and the result was without a doubt, comfort on the tip of my tongue. (It also happens to have vegan protein, fiber, healthy fats and a super food!)

4 Oz Coconut water*
4 Oz Unsweetened plain almond milk*
1/2 Very ripe banana (peeled - I let a few bananas get really ripe then peel, half, individually wrap and freeze to make smoothie making as fast as possible!)
1Tbsp Jem Maca Almond Butter * (This stuff is like crack. It's worth finding or ordering online.)
1 Tbsp Frontier Naturals Alcohol Free Vanilla*
Dash Cinnamon
1 Tbsp Hemp protein*
1 Tbsp Pea protein*
1 Tbsp Chia seeds
Optional: 4 Drops alcohol free stevia* (this makes it pretty sweet)
Optional: Toss in a handful or 2 of spinach. You can't really taste spinach in smoothies, so why not!?

Put all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth and creamy. Add more vanilla or stevia to taste, although you shouldn't need either if your banana is nice and ripe.


*PRODUCT RECOMMENDATIONS: Through a great deal of trial and error, sticker shock and nutrition label lament, I've found the healthiest, cleanest versions of the below ingredients. Keep in mind, home made or "whole" is always best, but let's be honest, we've got to do the best we can with the time we have!

• Where to Source: I've become obsessed with Vitacost.com. They ALWAYS undercut Whole Foods (not that hard,) Real Foods (San Francisco chain, so not that hard either) and often Amazon (I find that impressive!) on dried herbs and spices, prepared foods, supplements, extracts, teas and pretty much all non-perishable crunchy specialty goods.
• Almond Milk: I highly recommend finding a no-sugar-added almond milk with as short an ingredient list as possible. Engine 2 is my favorite brand, and 365 Organics is a close second. There's a terrifying amount of added sugar and funky fillers in a lot of the other brands out there so read your labels to avoid excess sugar and additives.
• Vanilla Extract: Laugh if you will, but I believe a good vanilla extract makes or breaks a lot of smoothies. Without high temperatures to cook off alcohol, using a regular extract can make your smoothies taste bitter, or worse, boozey. Go for an alcohol-free version for raw foods and smoothies, in my opinion Frontier Naturals is by far the best. Snag the 16 Oz. size on Vitacost.com - trust me, you'll need all 16 ounces once you discover how yummy it is.
• Stevia: There are a lot of stevia products on the market now and they are not all created equal. You want to be sure you purchase pure stevia root extract that isn't cut with other sweeteners. Again, I prefer alcohol free in raw foods and smoothies to avoid the bitter/boozey taste of the alcohol-based extracts. NuNaturals is my favorite brand for stevia.
• Vegan Proteins (when you aren't cleansing): My favorite "pure protein" powders are Navitas Naturals Hemp Protein (I find this is the least "chalky" of the plant based proteins out there) and Pea Protein (a little chalky, but relatively mild). They are both very low calorie and have few/no additives. 
• Vegan Proteins: (with added supplements for cleansing periods or to use in meal replacement shakes): Plant Fusion (Original) or Vega Chocolate Sport (I don't like Vega Vanilla - too artificial tasting)
• Coconut Water: This really is based on personal preference, (I prefer Zico,) but whatever you select, make sure there's no sugar or other fruit juice added)
• Almond Butter: For most of my smoothies, I love Once Again Crunchy or I'll settle for 365 Brand as a back-up. For "comfort smoothies" or sometimes as a treat on brown rice bread, I go for the Jem Maca Almond Butter. I can't begin to tell you how amazing this stuff is, you've got to try it yourself. Try to ignore the price in anticipation of raw food bliss. Even if its just one time ;)

Happiness

I woke up this morning feeling happy, healthy and clear-minded -  as if a big fat dose of perspective had invaded my body overnight, infusing each and every cell with a blissful state of awareness.  When I feel this way, when my first thought of the day emerges with a smile and a sense of gratitude, my second thought is often “why can’t I feel and think this way all the time?”

The reflexive answer, simply put, is that life gets in the way.  Illness, loss, family, jobs, stress, hormones -get in the way.  But that’s not the real reason I don’t feel and think this way all the time. Sure, the aforementioned can muddy the waters of true, deep happiness – but more often than not it isn’t life that gets in the way, it’s me.

Bottom line: I could feel and think this way more often if I could just learn to leave myself alone.  Instead, within a month of settling into a positive, healthy state of mind, my tireless need for self-improvement usually sneaks up on me and reminds me not to rest on my laurels. An enticing career or personal challenge proves a little too attractive and in the blink of an eye, the perfectionist in me is empowered by success or fueled by the threat of failure.  “Just be” is replaced with “just do” and potentially unhealthy expectations. Before I know it, I’m pushing myself harder than I should without conscious awareness. The kicker? I inevitably start to do the same to those around me.

I watch many of the women I know do a regrettably effective job of encumbering clarity and content with similar cyclical behavior all the time.  Think about it. You know how good you feel when you take care of yourself; break free from habits that weigh your physical and mental health down.  Yet you might meditate every day for 3 weeks before you’re back to reading your email with one sleepy eye as soon as the alarm goes off.  Maybe you made it 2 months in a wellness routine full of weekly workouts and healthy home cooked meals before you went back to takeout 3 times a week and frequenting your favorite restaurants in lieu of the gym. It’s beyond discouraging to feel doomed to repeat your mistakes at the expense of your own happiness.

So what to do? How do you stop getting in the way of your own happiness? If I knew the end-all be-all answer, I would be meditating on a beach somewhere naked instead of writing this, but I can tell you a few things that have helped me tremendously over the past few years. 

1. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy. Every day.  A sense of self-worth is a HUGE brick in the foundation of happiness.  It doesn’t matter if you have to put it on a post-it note on the fridge or tattoo it on the back of your hand – just find a way to reinforce that you deserve to be happy as often as possible.  
2. Take a few minutes each day to think through things that you're thankful for. Consider keeping a little gratitude journal and jot down just 1 or 2 things each day that make you smile. A little positive reinforcement goes a long way when life gets overwhelming -  no matter how bad things get, there's always something to be happy about.
3. Identify at least one activity - that is yours and yours alone - that makes you feel peaceful and content. Find time to do it once a week.
4. If you’ve identified things that stand in the way of feeling positive about your life, share them with someone. Sometimes saying something aloud is enough to loosen its grip on you. Example: “When I’m at home all day with the kids by myself, I feel really lonely and sometimes sad.” (Stay away from the blame game; try to objectively identify things that encumber your life experience without pointing fingers.)
5. If you want to take things a step further, engage someone you trust in helping you be accountable for working against yourself. Maybe even ask your partner to help identify proactive measures.  Example:  I told B that I know I take healthy eating to extremes sometimes and stress myself out about avoiding allergens 100% of the time. I asked him to help me create awareness around that tendency and to keep an eye out for obsessive behavior. I don’t always want to hear it when he catches me stressing and voices concern, but there’s nothing more effective than seeing yourself through a loved one’s eyes. 
6.  Practice self compassion. Don’t beat yourself up when you fall off track. Punishing yourself for lack of discipline, focus or awareness is a terrible waste of time that will only perpetuate unhealthy cycles. Instead take the time to think through why you got black out drunk when you only meant to have one cocktail. Challenge yourself to learn from your moments of weakness.
7.  Ask yourself as often as you can, if what you’re doing makes you happy. Life is too short to waste time with things that lack short or long term gratification. Of course it’s unrealistic to assume that every moment of ever day will be spent frolicking through meadows and playing with puppies. But it is certainly ok to demand some form of fulfillment, joy or satisfaction from our jobs, relationships, personal time and every moment in between. You do deserve to be happy after all.  

5 Reasons to Binge-Watch "Orange is the New Black" ASAP

It somehow manages to be socially relevant, culturally provocative and a guilty pleasure. I can’t remember the last time a TV drama inspired binge-watching the same way this Netflix series did. I also don’t think I’ve ever reflected on both our inability to overcome tribal instincts in favor of humanitarianism and the profoundly corrupt American correctional system all in the span of 1 week.

Piper isn’t entirely unlike SJP’s Carrie on Sex & the City. She’s likable enough to identify with her at least on occasion, and when you can’t identify with her you still feel sympathy for her struggle.  She’s a modern-day “everywoman” just like Carrie. She’s also shallow, narcissistic and selfish enough that you can keep a safe, slightly judgmental distance from her in her darkest hours. Her character flaws are not your own, right? Or are they?

The characters are so cleverly developed that you begin to forget they don’t actually exist. I lived for the well-timed insight into each character’s true nature and clung to clues of what landed them in prison.  I was anxious to “get to know” each one better. Their stories unfold artfully, and before you know it you start to feel things for them. Anger, sadness, pity, disgust - as if these women are real and have affected your life somehow. 

Watching Piper devolve and evolve at the same time forces you to consider what kind of person you might be if you too were stripped of your perceived identity, security blankets and everything that makes you feel happy and whole. If you were thrown into a pit with a mix of sheep in wolves clothing, wolves in uniform and plain old crazy-ass tigers, would you start to act like an animal too?  Your answer will be different after you watch the whole series.

On that note. You end up more creeped out by your own self realizations than Piper’s. The writers do a phenomenal job of challenging viewers to acknowledge how easily one of the many stupid mistakes we’ve made in our lives could have landed us in prison. We are all at the mercy of fate, law enforcement, timing, privilege - and there is potential injustice in all of aforementioned. 

Dirty 30/Dirty Laundry

I love a clean slate. I clean my closet out more often than I add things to it. I actually enjoy moving.  I don’t mind Mondays at all. And so I suppose it’s fitting that I’m actually excited to turn 30. The idea of entering a new decade isn’t dreadful by any measure - I’m ready to write my next chapter with the benefit of lessons learned in one hell of a wild ride through my 20’s.

In honor of creating a clean slate for my dirty 30 I’m going to air some dirty laundry. Here’s to looking forward, and laughing hard when you choose to look back.

1.       I’m self-conscious even when I sleep. I know I’m an ugly sleeper and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve actually tried to take a photograph of myself on a pillow with my eyes closed to assess the severity of the problem. Recently.

2.       I’m afraid to have children – for entirely selfish reasons. I’m not worried about knowing how to take care of an infant. I’m afraid of not knowing how to stay sane when I’m all alone in at home with a baby and not enough stimulation. I’m afraid of getting postpartum depression and gaining 30 pounds and entering back into a cycle of weight induced self-loathing. I’m afraid of ruining the wonderfully warm and loving relationship B and I enjoy by becoming irrational, demanding and overbearing. I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough if our baby is born sick. I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough if anything ever happens to our baby. I’m afraid I will resent giving up the life I have now, a life I’ve worked so very very hard for.

3.     I made an entire relationship up with a fictional guy in college to make someone else jealous.

4.     I finally admitted I might have a teeny bit of residual “body dimorphic disorder” when I realized there are days I don’t feel that different from when I was 30-35 pounds heavier. Sometimes I stand  right next to someone in Bar Method class that I think I might look like. I am always shocked when I look in the mirror and realize she’s probably 20 pounds heavier.

5.     I am too hard on some people and not hard enough on others. I afford certain people in my life the luxury of endless leeway and make endless excuses for them, and then hold other people to impossible standards. That is unreasonable and unfair.

6.     Sometimes I feel like I’m having an out of body experience, watching my emotions take control in an exorcism-worthy spiral.  It happens only a few times a year, but I inevitably walk away wondering if somewhere deep inside me there’s a clinically insane person trying to get out.

7.     I’m uncomfortable eating certain things in public. I still feel like people are looking at me as if I shouldn’t be indulging in that ice cream cone. 

8.     I worry I’m missing some important female genes and that I have too many of others. I don’t care about wedding favors and I don’t want a bridal shower, but I think about our first dance and smile to myself all the time. I’m not sure if my biological clock is broken or what, but I can’t picture having a baby at this moment in time. At the same time, I love tiny baby clothes and tiny baby shoes and tiny babies. I love their smell, I love their tiny faces and I love their little hearts beating in their little chests. But the overwhelming responsibility and emotional investment required to have one of my own scares the shit out of me.  Thinking so practically about it makes me feel like a bad person.

9.     I talk to myself in my head all day long. Sometimes I’m going through my schedule, sometimes I’m reminding myself of things, sometimes I’m praying, sometimes I’m just chatting with little old me. I like that I can talk to Siri now too.

10.   I’ve peed my pants as an adult. More than once. OK, more than twice.

11.  I am a spiritual person. I pray for family, friends and loved ones every day; I have a journal full of intentions and things to help me stay peaceful and grounded. I like church, I love sitting in church next to my B. But every week, under the shadow of an ornate alter paid for by people that probably couldn't afford it, I can’t help but wonder if anyone else around me disagrees with 25% of what’s coming out of the priests mouth.  

12.  When I met B 6 years ago, I would wait for him to get into the shower then sneak bites of the Ben & Jerry’s he kept in his freezer.

13.  I am too critical. I pray every day that I can change that because I don’t ever want the people around me, especially B, to feel as if something about them isn’t enough.

14.  What scares me most about getting married is that we’ll bring all these people together in this wonderful place and I’ll manage to let someone down or hurt someone’s feelings. I also avoid birthday parties and celebrations with me in the spotlight for this reason. The possibility of making anyone feel less significant than the next person more overwhelming than my desire to celebrate.  I want a full day with each and every person that I’m close with.  I want them all to know how special they are to me.

15.  I still look back and wonder if I could have done something more to help my best friend that ended up battling drug addiction.

16.  I think it should be a crime to fart on an airplane. I’ve done it.

17.  Speaking of air planes…the blankets freak me out because I imagine they’re covered in farts and food particles. And dead skin.

18.   I can be so cold and hard when it comes to a few issues with B that it even frightens me. I've walked away from a few pivotal arguments over the years feeling like some ugly, creepy villain in a Disney movie. You know, the kind that peers up with cold, grey eyes from underneath a prominent brow and speaks with a low, monotone voice?

19.  I can be totally compassionate and totally judgemental. I'm even surprised by how contradictory I can be at times.

20. I did not enter my 20’s with a clear conscience. I was selfish and careless with some important people when I was younger. I know now that I was too concerned with being everything to everyone and not concerned enough with being good to those that mattered most. I spent my 20’s trying to be a better daughter, sister, friend and partner – I travelled the country and spent weekends, weeks, months righting what I consider the most unforgivable wrongs. I am entering my 30’s with a much clearer conscience. Never again will I let the people I love question how much they mean to me.

Whirlwind

The past few months have been a whirlwind of wonderful family trips, adventures with friends, major milestones and small triumphs. This is the first chance I’ve had in months to sit in my favorite writing spot; the room empty, quiet, clean; my mind relaxed enough to enjoy the sun streaming through the Camilla bushes and ferns outside our windows; no laundry pile full of chlorine soaked swimsuits or campfire-scented muddied pants; nothing to pack for, prepare for or anxiously anticipate within the next 7 days.

Friends old and new, weddings, romance and familial bonds have brought us to Austin, TX; the Mayan Riviera; Hilton Head, SC; Flathead Lake, MT; Farmington, CT; Yosemite National Park; Laguna Beach, CA. We’ll see Cape Cod, MA; Wichita, KS; Scottsdale, AZ before September is through. We have a hard time saying no to each other. We have an even harder time saying no to the family and friends we hold so dear to our hearts. Being able to say “yes, we’ll come” is perhaps the greatest, most treasured luxury we have in our life as a couple.

It’s all been so wonderful, but so fast. Sometimes you have to write things down for them to feel real.

I went to Yosemite National Park and climbed the Mist Trail for the 3rd time with B. It’s a difficult hike, a 3 hour StairMaster up the side of two waterfalls on slippery rocks, but it’s rewarding and breathtaking every step of the way. I know now that the first time I did it, I was still a girl. I felt out of my element, embarrassed by how I faced the challenge in front of the man I loved, scared and shaking and fearing the way down every step of the way up. The second time I did it I managed to bring my eyes up from my toes on the rocks long enough to appreciate what I was doing, where I was, who I was with. I was still hesitant at moments, but not a fearful young girl anymore. The third time I did the hike, I felt strong and happy and peaceful as I went up the sides of those waterfalls. Feeling that way in that place made me realize how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown up, how much B and I have grown together. He proposed at the top of the second waterfall with one of our most cherished places in the world at our feet. The third time I hiked the Mist Trail, I came down engaged to the man that has helped me find that strength and happiness and peace in my heart.

My best friend in the entire world, the one I moved to San Francisco with, moved home to Boston. We’ve lived either down the hall, in the same room or a few bus stops away since we were 18. Her kind heart and complete lack of judgment may never be matched in another female friend. She’s gone for good and I’m staying forever and I barely got to give her a proper goodbye.

B turned 40 just a few weeks ago. His youthful enthusiasm and passion for adventure, music, food and everything good in life make him ageless. He wants to be happy and he wants everyone around him to be happy. In the time that I’ve known him, he has learned how to make those things happen, even as the people and world around him change rapidly. He has untied his own hands and that makes him a wise old man ;)

By the end of July, two of my dearest childhood friends will have married within 6 weeks of each other. A third has moved to Australia to be with her Prince Charming. Coming together again over the past few months at a bachelorette and wedding we laughed like we we’re 15 again. We felt as close as we did, perhaps closer, than when we were 15 and together every day. But we’re women now and we’re all starting our own lives in different places around the world.

My dearest friend in San Francisco, a woman with whom I have a very special friendship, left 3 weeks ago for a trip around the world for a year. I am so happy for her, but I miss her. She has inspired me to be tougher. She challenges me to open my mind and think of why I should do things rather than why I shouldn’t.

I’ve been with my team at work for over 5 ½ years now. I worked my ass off from day one. I swallowed my pride for the first two years. I longed for respect and recognition for the next two. I didn’t really understand how to get it until the beginning of the 5th year. I was recently promoted to Vice President and I might wallpaper my bathroom with my new business cards.

It’s all been so wonderful, but so fast. Sometimes you have to write things down for them to feel real.

New Year, Clean Slate

Historically associated with a spare tire and a bad case of the post-holiday blues, January has never been my favorite month. During the holidays, I replace balancing work, social, health, travel, fitness, and family commitments with balancing a warm mug of hot chocolate and sugar cookies in front of old fashioned Christmas movies with B. I give myself a hall-pass from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve every year and allow myself a modified fitness schedule, ease up on the organizing, planning, cooking and cleaning, and just try to enjoy celebrating life. I “let go” for a few weeks and indulge, indulge, indulge. And then January comes. All the trimmings are boxed up, I feel squishy and lazy, and the pressure to return to my usual routines looms in the air.

Last year before Christmas even rolled around, I decided I was sick and tired of experiencing that impending January doom. Who wants to be cranky and depressed starting out a new year? I realized I needed to re frame the way I looked at January – I needed to find something positive about it and hold on to that, instead of holding on to a hangover from a holiday come and gone. So I made a promise to myself that I would try my damndest each year to see January as the month we’re all given a gift: a clean slate.

Obviously everything is much easier said than done. I still cry when I leave my niece and nephew; I still miss my sisters for at least a few days after returning to San Francisco; I even get a little choked up when we take all the ornaments off the tree . But from the time the wheels touch down at SFO, thinking about that clean slate has become January’s saving grace.

We opted to come home to San Francisco between Christmas and New Years Eve this year, so I had some very rare down time to consider what I would do with my clean slate; to think back over 2010 and how I’d like to build upon it. Naturally, I made a list. And it keeps growing...

1. Have that “Christmas state of mind” at least 1 day each month all year long.
2. Be more present on a daily basis. Experience the smells, sights, sounds and people around me rather than too often getting caught in my “in my own head.”
3. Stop grabbing the fat on my tummy in the morning. Or any time of day for that matter.
4. Stop being such an old lady about adapting new technology. Skype more with friends and family.
5. Embrace the concept of “for better, for worse.” Learn to handle challenges in my relationship more gracefully and calmly. In other words, less like nut bag.
6. No burping, farting, or “discreet” nose picking in front of Bee, or anyone else for that matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s an occasional slip-up, a rare miscalculation, or a champagne-induced moment of weakness. One mishap is enough to gross someone out, turn someone off, or make someone think of me as a teenage hot mess rather than a 28 year old woman.
7. Reframe career goals: stop focusing on the risk involved in asking for more respect, recognition and control over my work load and projects. Just do it.
8. Be more compassionate; when I can’t find compassion in my heart for someone, at least remember that I have no right to judge. Anyone.
9. Remember that B is not perfect and it is unfair to expect him to be.
10. Speak up when the guys at work act like d-bags, invade my personal space, stare at my legs or boobs, or attempt to minimize my contribution due to their own insecurity.
11. Be as patient with B as he is with me.
12. Be more accepting of those who think and behave differently - especially my dear Mother.
13. Refrain from considering the reasons I can’t or shouldn’t do something, instead consider the reasons I should.
14. Stop trying to fit so much into every day; and allow myself more sleep and downtime.
15. Be more forgiving.
16. Take the blinders off during the work week and learn to find joy in, and have fun, every day. Monday – Friday don’t have to be so structured and focused.
17. Turn off the TV (sports) once a week and play backgammon, Wii, Connect Four, Monopoly, etc with B.
18. Reset my fitness expectations to eradicate “workout guilt.” Instead of requiring a bare minimum of 4 (bar method or yoga) classes each week, require only 3 classes and walk or do other fun activities when I can in between.
19. Remember I can be defined by how I handle and overcome a struggle, not by the struggle itself. (Thanks A.)
20. Be kind to myself. Be kind to others.
21. Don’t get caught up in inconsequential details or unnecessary negativity.
22. Drink more wine.

It's a Miracle

Last night, I watched B walk over to the freezer, which contained 4 kinds of ice cream. He opened it up, took out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s that I knew wasn’t his true first choice, closed the freezer and walked away. I laughed and said, “Honey? Did you take that over the Peanut Brittle because that was what was open?”

He replied, “Of course.”

I laughed again and thought about how I’ve never chosen anything without at least a few moments of consideration. His ice cream selection was a perfect example of how insanely different the two sexes are. It never ceases to amaze me that we manage to co-exist, procreate, and stay in long term relationships when our bodies and brains operate in completely different ways. I started to think about all the ways in which men and women think and behave differently...

Men make meal choices based on proximity, ease of access and taste. Similarly, they often choose women that way. Women, on the other hand select food (and men) based on what we’re in the mood for, feels right, smells good, requires a little extra work and won’t make us feel too guilty after the fact.

Women tend to do things in anticipation of a desired result or perceived benefit. Men most often just “do.”

A man loves a woman for what she is. A woman loves a man for what he can be when he grows up.

Women overcomplicate emotional matters. Men overcomplicate logistics. (A map or stop and ask for directions? Insane! Use the manufacturer’s directions to assemble that doll house? Never!)

Crazy is exciting to a lot of women. Crazy is just crazy to men.\

Women fall in love almost as quickly and easily as men fall out of love.

You hand a woman another drink at Happy Hour and while thinking of everything she must do between that moment and tomorrow morning, she says, “Oh, no thanks. I really should go.”

You hand a man another drink at Happy Hour and while thinking how good that beer will taste, he says ‘Thanks!”

When sports or a favorite show is on TV, men hear nothing else around them. Women are almost always listening. Creepy, I know.

Horror films give some women nightmares. Movies like Revolutionary Road give most men nightmares.

Men see a “red flag” and run. Most women see a “red flag” and dig their claws in deeper while convincing themselves the issue will go away.

Women often wonder when their partner will start to open up more, start talking. Men wonder when we’ll stop talking so much.

Men memorize all the funny lines of their favorite movies and can watch them over and over and over again. And then a few more times. Women remember the clothes and the romance – and we’re usually all set after 2-3 viewings.

When we're young, its not uncommon for women to create entire relationships in our heads. Men create elaborate fantasies.

Men fall in love with what they see and touch and hear. Women fall in love with dreams and ideas.

Happy 21st Birthday "A"

A good friend of mine asked a group of women to help her create what I thought was an ingenious birthday gift for her little sister’s 21st birthday. She solicited words of wisdom, funny little pieces of advice and helpful suggestions to form a compilation to present to her sister as she entered into adulthood. This was a few months after I had started writing “potential posts” for my blog, so I of course thought it was a wonderful idea and had more “you should know what’s around the bend” witticisms and pieces of advice than I knew what to do with. I contributed with a few (too many) of my favorites, and thought, “I have to remember to do this for my sister.”

With her 21st birthday only a few days away, I would like to present my darling little sister with a similar compilation of recommendations and survival tips and would love so much to have you join me in doing so. Thank you in advance for helping me welcome her to the roller coaster ride!

Twentysomething… Ironies and Conundrums

I have developed a wonderful set of tools that help me stay balanced, manage stress and cope with difficult experiences.
I still find myself occasionally reacting to stress or unpleasant surprises like a petulant child and/or eating an entire box of cookies. And a pint of ice cream. While crying.

I have learned the value of self-awareness, and I do believe I am becoming a better person for it.
Said self-awareness has also regrettably opened my eyes to the laundry list of things I have left to work on.

I have finally figured out how to achieve true emotional empathy in a relationship.
Unfortunately, I don’t want to marry a woman.

I am successfully balancing my career, relationships, social calendar, fitness routine, family commitments, travel and even a little bit of volunteer work.
I’m exhausted. And I don’t even have children yet.

I have found a wonderful exercise routine that makes me feel strong and energetic, has improved my balance and posture, and has helped me increase muscle tone.
The lower part of my thighs has gotten just toned and compact enough to accentuate saddlebags I didn’t even know I had.

I have a wonderful network of inspiring women in my life who have given me strength and guidance when I needed it the most.
I just didn’t expect to still need it so much at the age of 27.

I’m so relieved that I can finally afford to go home for Christmas without going broke, buy myself some nice work clothes, and even occasionally pamper myself.
For a while there, that discretionary income was dedicated to therapy, excessive tailoring bills attributed to stress-induced eating and/or starvation, and managing my hormone- induced acne.

Especially thanks to my wonderful niece and nephew, I feel myself inching closer and closer to being ready for motherhood.
I said inching. After 9 months of torture, it could take HOW LONG to get that thing out?

I’m in the best shape of my life.
After allowing myself to enjoy that achievement for approximately 6 minutes before turning my attention to the burrito that still camps out just below my beltline, I’ve realized that I may always be fat in my own mind.

I am at an age where I can laugh with my parents, enjoy their company and have mature, intelligent conversations with them.
Now I have to accept that they are real people, with faults and problems and weaknesses.

Acknowledging that men and women simply operate on different wavelengths and have dissimilar thought processes has helped me be a more patient, amicable mate.
Sometimes I get so frustrated and angry that the crazy forces its way out of my mouth faster than I can slam it shut.

I have finally realized what a useless waste of energy worrying is.
I’m just worried I’ll never figure out how to stop.

Although I had to learn the importance of finding the best doctors the hard way, I am pleased to have finally found a competent, thorough Dermatologist with an agreeable bedside manner.
She found $20,000 worth of “laser treatment-worthy” spider veins I never knew I had.

My healthy, balanced, protein-rich diet has led to a full, thick head of hair.
Is that cute little peach fuzz on my face moving in the same direction?

I’m becoming wise enough to acknowledge and learn from my own mistakes and missteps.
The only trouble is, I haven’t quite figured out how to keep myself from repeating a lot of them.